Dear Mr. God, it's Hannah

We praise You as if You were a phenomenon outside our universe and outside our imagination. And we always keep life after death at the back of our mind because it seems so decisive for us. But what is decisive?
We always search You and sometimes we believe that You answer our request.
But when will we find You?
How do we know that creature and creator are not one and the same?
When will we learn to praise the world around us and every leaf that we find on the ground?
And to live in dignity the way we define it for the divine spirit can be found in ourselves. Because weren't it You who created us too? Why don’t we listen to the melody of Your words that float peacefully in the river nearby with the same passion and emotion that we feel when we now listen to Sunday’s prayer? And why don’t we protect this delightful planet with the same enthusiasm and strength with which we’re now desperately clutching our prayer rug? Why do we sell our reason a book that instils in us our own wisdoms, but with wrong labels?
And why do we stick to details before we search the essence?
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And some more questions that sometimes pop up in my mind…

Why are there so many religions if there’s only You?
Why didn’t You give us enough reason to figure out what is truth and what is fake?
Why don't You manage to make us all believe in You?
Why do some people believe so easily?

Is a dishonest belief better than not to believe in You?
Why isn’t it enough to believe in “something” instead of “everything”?
Why are religious people often so strange and superstitious?
Why does the fact of calling myself a Muslim or a Christian or a Jew tells my people about my character?
- Wasn‘t I born without a religious belief?

Why did You create my hands if I’m not allowed to touch?
Why did You create my hair if You wanted me to cover it?
Why did You create sexual desire if it’s something I have to suppress?
- Didn’t You know that prohibitions breed curiosity?
Why did You create love if I must not love the one I want?
Why do my people love to tell me that the answer to all these questions is “because life is a big test”?

Why do so many feel superior due to their religion?
Why do people reduce religion to its rules and prohibitions?
Why do I have to be afraid in order to accept the rules apparently imposed on me by a divine force?
Why do I have to be threatened first?

Why do You allow a man to hit me if I’m worth as much as he?
What is the difference between marriage and the wish to own the other person?
Why shouldn‘t people call an adopted child theirs and save one more life instead of giving birth to another?

Why don't You remove my doubts and answer my questions if my belief wasn’t enough for You?

Do You love me?

Yours sincerely,
Hannah